Friday, March 2, 2012

chapter one

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It had finally stopped raining, or, so I thought. I grabbed my stitched up bag and dragged myself out of my not-so-comfortable-home. I twirled down the street's of Ranceburg, Ohio. Originally, I was born in Portland, Oregon. It wasn't much of a change because the weather here is much like Portland's. 



I stepped in a puddle of mud. What a wonderful way to start the morning. At least I was wearing brown skinny jeans so it's not too badly noticeable, but my red vans on the other hand... they look like someone painted them with black abyss crap and brown poop. Fantastic. I went behind 7-11 and turned on the hose to hose off my old shoes that I basically slept with. They were my religion. I loved them and even named them. Red Riders.



7 blocks to go, then I'll be at the Library I still didn't know the name of. I had been working at this library for a few months now. I don't get paid, it's just volunteer work because I hate the thought of sitting around doing nothing when there are things that could be done. I just hate being home, I decided. 


When I arrived at the Library it was 20 minutes after 9:00 am, and I was already sweating. I really needed to go to the doctors and figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I wondered time and time again if it was genetic, or if it was all in my head and I was hallucinating from all of those rainbow pills my doctors force down my throat to get rid of my asthma, pneumonia, and of course, my stupid Multiple Personality Disorder. My doctors keep trying to convince me i'd be safer in a ward but I refuse. Who would take care of my mom?


He's here today. The boy i'd so blankly had a crush on. He'd always get the same books and I never knew why. I told him he could buy them if he wanted but he always said the same thing, "I prefer coming back every week and seeing a pretty girl like you. If I bought them, that experience would be taken away and then I wouldn't have a good excuse to come to the library,"  Every time he said it my heart beat a little faster. I liked that feeling because I had convinced myself I didn't have a heart beat anymore and it's reassuring to feel it beat again.
His name was Oskar Adolfus. He was from Sweden and had those breathtaking blue eyes and brown shaggy hair that fell past his ears. He was a fan of HIM which amused me because I also enjoyed HIM. Oskar was really pale, but it was a cute pale, the kind of pale you would see on a person after they've seen a ghost. But it fit his Swedish background. We never really talked to each other. But I found out his age. He's 15. Sometimes I sketch him in my hardback-notebook with dark blue flowers painted across it. I draw hearts around him and think that he is my true love. But i'm too shy to really say anything else but, "Have a nice day," and , "you know you can buy them instead of repeatedly checking them out.." 


When Oskar came up to me a pure wave of adrenalin washed over me like the crashing wave breaking along the sea shore on a grey misty day much like this morning. He flipped his hair to the side and set down --  different books? This was rare. He usually always picked out the same exact books. Mythology was his common interest. But now he's set "How to ask the girl of your dreams out," and , "20 days for love." down onto the counter. I accidently gasped and he blushed then I blushed and looked down and away.
"I've read them multiple times but never checked them out," He admitted in his Swedish accent. I loved hearing his voice and sometimes I imagine listening to it for hours. My blush grew a deeper red and was even more noticeable. Which made me not want to look at him. 
"Bella-" He started before I abruptly cut him off.
"You know my name?" I wished I didn't say anything at all. I wished I wasn't so stupid and I wished I could have just thought before I spoke.
He grinned and nodded, "Yeah, how could I not know the name of a girl of such beauty?"
I blushed and he continued, "I was going to ask you to dinner,"
yes yes a million times yes!!!! i wanted to shout. But instead I settled for the more non-obsessive-overly-excited tone, "I'd love too."
I didn't want him to see where I lived for fear my mother would come to the door and scare him off. So he reluctently agree'd to meet me at the park 5 minutes from my home. He told me he'd pick me up at 7:00.


The day dragged on and seemed to never end. After Oskar left, I decided to leave early too. I went to the outlet mall and picked out a cute dress from Hot topic and some new fishnets - Because mine were almost unusable now. I also bought myself a new bow with a heart in the middle of it. I'd never been on a date before so I assumed you had to pay for your own dinner, so I managed to grab some money from my mom and then waited at 6:30 for Oskar.


"Hey," Oskar said, startling me. I acknowledged him with a sly smile and then got up from the swing.
"You're early," I commented.
"You are too," He pointed out. I giggled and then climbed into his car. It smelled like him. Vanilla mixed with cherries and a sweet pine. I suddenly grew attached to it. "So, where are we going?"
"Chinese buffet. Never been there but it sounds... asian." He admitted solomnly.
I laughed and then cupped my hands over my mouth, a little embarassed.


Oskar drove me home a little after nine which was okay with me because i didn't really mind spending time with him. Infact, I think it's my new favorite thing to do. I gave him my number. Tomorrow's Sunday - Which means the Library is closed and I won't get to see Oskar. That was the downside to today.


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